i was born a porn star she said
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
