I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize