we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm at about main and main street
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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