so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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