You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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