Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
