His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We were destined to go to rehab together
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
