did you get engaged???
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
