What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
