i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
