this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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