do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
