I'm so fucking centered right now
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
