He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
