He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
