you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
