I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
