we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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