I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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