Kiss
Puke
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Help. Why am I so naked?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
