I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
