Your dad touched me again.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
we're so committed to being not committed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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