I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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