I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
