Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
