I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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