You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
