i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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