just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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