We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize