i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I understand Curling. That high.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
last night I used snow as a chaser
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