so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just forgot I was standing up.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
