She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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