i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
