I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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