In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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