Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
