You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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