ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
