Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
