I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
