thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Alive.
So much puke
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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