I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
