So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
