He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize