scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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