I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
