We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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