GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
