its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
