I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
