sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
