I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
