We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
