I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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